“Happiness is like silence shining with gold at the bottom of a river of sorrow. It is a wonderful feeling to see a dim light after experiencing infinite sorrow.” — Tae-jae-ji
There have been a series of thunderstorms in Beijing recently. It was a foggy day, with dark clouds hanging over the top. In addition, I was in a bad mood for a while, and the cat didn’t want to get close to me before going to bed. As the loss increased, so did the enthusiasm for life. So I’m looking for a moment to take my head out of real life, whether it’s burying my head in a soft cat’s stomach or a lover’s soft chest. The kind of up and down of close feeling, each other gap in the happiness, it seems that MORE let me have a sense of living. I was at an age when blood was hot inside my chest, inside my lungs, inside my skull, and I wanted to spill it and burn the whole city, rather than wait for the fire to be extinguished and the animal nature to expand.
Unfortunately, the expansion of the expansion, through the night, the next day woke up, rainy still have to face the “mourning”, “lying flat”, “escape from the north, guangzhou”. I tend to scoff at these. It’s not hard to blame “mourning” and “lying down.” What’s hard is to recognize what it is: the frustration of a whole generation of people who are using their lives for civil disobedience. It’s looking at a fat, hard nut that’s already shrivelled inside. And I can’t help feeling anxious about these things. So I took the opportunity to turn over some novels and movies. Sometimes after watching movies for a day on the weekend, I would fall on the chair and walk out of the theater in a trance.
The Dragon Boat Festival wants to find a cure to tie piece piece alone to steal some cure energy from film and television works, blunt sweet younger sister IU’s yan, hit by accident began to chase this “my uncle” did not think of but unexpected surprise, is a loss in the end to the depression piece but broke through the recent sweet drama fatigue. IU played Li Zhi ‘an, fatherless and motherless, also owed a huge amount of debt, but also to take care of life can not take care of themselves, can not afford to pay the cost of nursing home grandma. From the big black circles under his eyes to the tattered cloth bag hanging on his body, there was a capital word.
He worked in the company during the day and washed dishes in the restaurant at night, working more than ten hours a day without taking a break. Secretly pack leftover food from restaurant guests when they have no money to eat; When I got tired, I took a dozen bags of instant coffee from the company’s water cooler. She needed to stay awake all the time, because her creditors would come and kick her at any moment. Every day in this city was depressing for her, and she did not know when this life would come to an end. The light in her eyes gradually disappeared, leaving only apathy and gloom.
Male master is a small town to do home, factory workers. Bright on the outside, dry on the inside. There were two brothers, each worse off than the other. Only myself, who has been regarded as a role model since childhood, has a stable job and needs to shoulder all the burden of the family. But the truth is, the hero can be fired at any time. Because the wife had worn a green hat to him early, the wife and lover often private meeting, and male main already looks like god apart, the son of going abroad is difficult to maintain affection. And the lover is not others, it is the boss of the male main company, see the rise of the head of the head every day. Not only that, lover also layer upon layer design plan to fire male master, dimension strike, the workplace like shuluo field.
So I started thinking about how these two bereaved guys could heal each other when they met. Can sadness heal sadness, can sadness soothe sadness? It’s funny how they didn’t heal each other at first, there wasn’t that much light in life. The world they faced was cruel and cold, and hope was fading away. The world is black and white under a cloud. Not surprisingly, the two drunks also began to waste and consume each other. After the drunkenness and waste, the loss of middle-aged people and the loss of young people in the play resonated to some extent. She bear the burden of life too early, realize the hardships of living, mood and demeanor is not youthful young people, male character, grievance encounter their digestion, in the day after day boring.
This killing, deep in the bone marrow, watching a few episodes, a desire for destruction and creation welled up in my heart, and was about to seep through the skin to overflow. Just male hero’s suffering, and I recently experienced similar. I can’t help but feel light, quiet, time gets faster, life gets shorter. Very silky, I put in a little bit of myself. I always wondered how long I could survive under such pressure. There is an upsurge of self-destructive desire, somewhat defiant. I also want to stand in the middle of the fire, throw out all my self-consciousness, no mission, no direction, as long as in such an environment as long as alive, as long as create, what is good.
Generation into the suffering of men, it is difficult to describe the days after the bitter, men for the outside to sweep health suffered insult brother head, not a big fight, but good words to persuade, to expose each other to build a house for profit deliberately left hidden dangers as a threat, after the home quietly. And all of this had to be endured in silence, because as the bearer of the family, any impulse could end a career. In the wife and lover’s cynicism, the male master can only silently into the temple, to have been a monk’s fellow text messages, “I am dragging tired body, 120 catties but like a thousand catties heavy”, get the reply is, “thousands of catties is actually your heart”.
It was very interesting that I finally felt the intense pressure I had been expecting. I have seen this kind of high pressure in many film, television and literature works. For example, in Wolverine: Fight to the Death, I saw the old Professor X trying to control his inner peace with his poor mental control, fearing that he would lose control again. He said, “This is what it’s supposed to be, but I don’t deserve it.” I was so sick. Superheroes are also human, the original quiet day is like this, a little bitter but always have something to look forward to. In Cloud Atlas, Frobischer says, “At moments like this, I can feel your heartbeat as clearly as I can feel my own, and I know that separation is an illusion… “, but inevitably towards parting.
It’s the first time I’ve experienced the suffering I’ve seen so far. It struck me that this was all. A feeble but powerful thought kept sprouting: “This isn’t the worst!” “Just get through this moment, it’s half light!”
Having removed the uncle’s body, I began to think about why it is easier for us to gain power in “loss” works. Because the suffering we experience in real life is far easier than the characters in these literary works. That’s all, by contrast, and I’ve always had more to look forward to. Like sometimes hear the people around the pour out complaints, there is a kind of effective comfort belongs to “than miserable” : when a friend confide unhappy, another voice will ring: “you this what, I…… You will find that life does not favor anyone in particular. Everyone has their own worries and difficulties. But the inner strength of being able to watch friends get through the moment with even more stress is contagious.
As the uncle said to Li Zhi ‘an in the play, “Always, let the internal force is stronger than the external force. Life is also, to some extent, but also the balance of internal force and external force, no matter what happened, internal force can stick to it. Stick to it, you will find that this is not the worst, but that’s all!”
The wounded heart will be stronger after healing. The journey of life is the process of constantly generating new hope, hope is the determined and tenacious internal force that supports you through this moment. That’s right. Life is a little bitter, but a little hopeful. What I was looking forward to now was the possibility of our cats quietly pilfering their chubby furry heads against my neck on a bleak night like this to keep each other warm.
“Have you reached Tranquillity? “Hopefully it will arrive tonight!
