Recognize the release of emotions

Year-end summary along with the point, think of where to write where it, in fact, before the year-end summary also wrote, and then also finished, but do not know why, finished, do not want to send.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot in the last year, but the biggest thing I’ve learned in the last year is that I’ve realized that my emotions have been released, that I’ve been released in certain situations and I want to be answered again and again. This is also from a wechat public number to see the article, but REMEMBER at that time is in the “Xu Slowly psychological words” in the public number to see, but the back of the effort to turn over from here can not find, this also inspired me to meet a good article next time, to quickly collect.

When does the release of oneself mood begin? I don’t know why, but I still got the answer in that article. Maybe it comes from being ignored when I was a child, so when I was stimulated again, my emotions would be out of control and eager to get the response from others. In fact, when I look at these problems later, the problems are not so serious, but I feel like I have collapsed and desperately want to get the response of others. Like a fallen child who needs to be calmed down. Fortunately, I realized it and slowly began to heal myself.

A person’s worth is not recognized all at once

To the new work or need to adapt, to learn from time to time there will be a feeling very frustrated, and feel nothing, but looking back, the back is not entirely his own reason, behind the article, the value of a man is also a process of cognition, is a curve, may be lower, lower than real value, you also may be higher than your actual value, But in short, to realize this point, the value of a person is not suddenly recognized by others, it needs a process, do not underestimate yourself.

There’s so much more to do

This year also began to write the public, this is the plan in 2020, began to get postponed to May 2021, no. The reason is that I split the public may have some misunderstanding, I think WeChat public menu is need me to development, feel extremely complex, discovered, did it himself behind is actually for the history of the article before add a link, It also made me realize that sometimes some things are not so difficult, and some difficulties may just be imagined by us.

There are also a lot of want to do something is in the back, like editing video before going to learning and do science, specially bought a computer with the graphics card, buy back almost a year, I found this notebook has always been open is set to show, not to say that didn’t turn on the switch, but ordinary graphics aren’t worth alone show face. For example, I plan to publish a JavaFx tutorial (video + graphic), re-learn C language and C#(I mainly want to develop games), and do an open source project. In fact, I like mathematics very much and want to re-study Mathematical Analysis, Advanced Algebra, Discrete Mathematics, probability theory and Combing Statistics. Study English again, lose weight completely, take the postgraduate entrance examination. In fact, I want to write novels and turn my novels into games. Instead of having as much free time as you do in school, you can focus on the weekend and start working on tasks from your task queue. I happened to refer to the plan I wrote in my sophomore year from Evernote:

Think that time is relatively immature, some unrealistic fears, indulge in mathematics at that time, don’t listen to your professional class, in class to study lounges self-study “advanced algebra”, “mathematical analysis”, see his high school books, want to see in the library until QiBaDian, walk on the way back to the dormitory is very happy, really miss this time.

This year, I wrote 51 articles, with an average of one more every Week. I was no longer limited to writing technical articles, but also began to write my own reading notes. I happened to see the weekly highlights of the public account “I don’t have three hearts” and thought it was a good form, so I went to ask where I got these. Then recognize the newsLetter this content distribution form, simply like a newspaper, do you subscribe to will send your email content, I feel full of novelty, content quality is also very high, so a week also have one more source of information, I usually use zhihu, zhihu recommendation algorithm to push, and high quality content is declining, A newsLetter is an active subscription. And I got to podcast through newsLetter, which gives me the feeling of listening to the interview of radio station, and also gives me some new perspectives. Later, when I was writing Data Structure and Algorithm Analysis (II) Brief Introduction to Algorithm, I planned to discuss learning, so I independent my feeling of learning into Miscellaneous Sense. Later, I found it was not bad, so I made it into what I saw and gained in a week just like the wechat public account “I don’t have three hearts”. For me, this series is more like a kind of introspection. We can’t look at ourselves, we need to know ourselves through the mirror, but we can only see our own appearance, how can we see our heart? What WE have seen in this week makes me examine myself.

Building intimacy

When I was brushing B station, I saw UP Lord contributed to Alan Yang’s “The most thought-provoking graduation speech in history: Knowledge has a price, your pain paved the way to pursue the highest ideal”. The introduction is:

Tired of harvard, Yale and Stanford; Tired of the catch-all theme: follow your heart, be true to yourself, follow your passion, and the possibilities are endless. Tired of noise and restlessness, anxiety and blood. The University of Chicago, the first convent university in the United States, has a different style of commencement speech, bringing a clear stream of education. Alan Jun Xiang, from the University of Chicago, led the sheep Speak team that translated the gripping speech.

The speech also made me realize that I am not good at building intimate relationships with others, just like what I said in the speech:

But when I was there, and probably still today, the University of Chicago did not teach students how to form close relationships. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that the ability to form intimate relationships is one of the most important skills for fulfilling a life.

This is because the primary challenge of life is not the challenge of knowledge, but the challenge of motivation. Life consists not only in knowing what is good, but in doing it with love and passion.

Life is about loving your spouse and family so passionately that you bring out the love in them. Life consists in a steadfast love of what you do, of serving the community you love, of loving your philosophy or God with devotion.

A complete life is a journey from open choices to sweet dedication, from refusing a thousand times to doing something you care deeply about a few times, from being willing to tie yourself to something you love. You tie yourself to them, but they set you free.

This kind of love is not just Platonic ideal love, but the love of the heart really into the little bit of daily life. Share the bathroom with friends, get up and sleep together, write and draw on shared computers.

It’s about mastering each stage of an intimate relationship: giving the first wink back. Make a real effort to get to know those people, the way people do on a first date, and realize that they have so much in common that it’s an amazing coincidence: “You don’t like Fogargrass? Me too! Why don’t we get married?”

It’s about confronting the cycle of vulnerability. It’s sticking with a crisis, even when you’re not sure if you still believe in a relationship, a career, or an institution. It’s about forgiving betrayals, asking forgiveness when you let down a friend, misbehave at work, or break a spouse’s heart. When you have a close connection to your spouse, friends, career, community or faith, you are, as Leon Wiestier says, “willing to be truly known, despite the dangers that lie ahead.” So people need to learn how to build intimate relationships and get along. People need to learn to build intimacy, to be attached to each other, to realize the true interests of life — that a couple should be the embodiment of love, that you and your career should be one, that you should be completely devoted to your philosophy or God.

I am speaking here of the art of feeling, which we are not born with, but which we master through repeated experience of vulnerability, of commitment, of human experience.

When I was at the University of Chicago, we as students were generally not very good at bonding. We are very good at avoiding, especially from situations where we feel connected or approaching. We were busy trying to make a splash in our early 20s, and naturally didn’t want to show our mediocrity, which is an absolute prerequisite for intimacy

Here is no longer excerpted, recommended you go to B station to see.

Excavation of the old

As with the speech mentioned above, I’ve seen it twice, but I still get something out of it, so MAYBE I can be a little less eager for something new. We can also try to dig up the old, which is also the sentence from Product Meditation:

Improve your existing skills instead of learning new ones, and consume the media you already have instead of acquiring more. No new hobbies, equipment, games or books are allowed this year. Instead, you must find value in what you already have or have started, dig deep and enrich them. Turn to what wealth is already in your house for selection.

I have more resonance to this sentence, perhaps this year will set their own knowledge breadth traversal, began depth traversal.

thinking

  • Change your strategy

Suppose there is a difficult thing, or simple things (faster) to do it, which one you will do for you, I’ll do hard things, but if you ask me this question, I would answer to you say I will do simple first, maybe in my subconscious mind this is the simple things, a relatively low priority. I didn’t even start working on this low-priority task. But I think the more difficult things also take a long time, maybe we can start from the simple and quick things.

  • Charge to an account

I have not been able to count how much MONEY I spend every month, and I have been calling for bookkeeping, but I am actually lazy and have not kept track of it. I have always liked an automatic bookkeeping function of MIUI, which records how much money I spend every time I pay. The record is stored locally, which I quite like because I can see how much I spend in a month without having to track it myself. The latter feature seems to have been cut due to disagreements with the wechat team. Later, I downloaded other bookkeeping software to record my spending, and planned to monitor myself to make sure that I had a clear idea of how much money I spent each month.

  • To lose weight

Earlier this year about losing weight, the exam is going to change the working eyes set on weight loss, looked at his little stomach very uncomfortable, but the back into the company began to be familiar with the business, just into the company for business not to understand, to satisfy the demand of the contact business is not clear, and can not find business, JiHuo policy of familiar, that time is very depressed, don’t know who asked, I don’t know why the business is doing this. Behind this matter slowly put aside. I plan to gradually spread this into my daily routine, not treat it as a special case, and I will lose weight before THE age of 26.

  • Buy vegetables

I don’t know if it is the characteristic of northerners. When I buy vegetables, I can’t control the quantity. I cook and eat by myself, and sometimes two people can’t finish the food. When you buy snacks, you don’t know how much you buy.

  • Read reviews in moderation

    Don’t know what is your personality or programmer, buy things always look at the reviews, I move in May, and then a new place to live without the kitchen, so I decided to buy a induction cooker, but I like to read reviews, like to buy mobile phones to see evaluation, I worry about the parameters of the induction cooker is also have virtual target, also have the feeling that wants to pursue cost-effective, Behind and then see a pile of assessment, as if it is concluded that the recommended not to buy induction cooker, in fact, I just want to do dinner with induction cooker, finally see assessment recommended are high; finally the trill of a blogger cook found somebody else to buy two hundred is also quite good, so I also bought a cheap, no longer within the scope of review, with the feel fine now.

Bought a chair

Before writing, I was basically a sit all day, then the chair is the kind of wood, do one day a bottom and waist ache, so he plans to buy an ergonomic chair, as a programmer nature is habitual see evaluation first, but now the evaluation to my feeling is more see more don’t know what to buy, a little review you need to see whether it is in the rice, In zhihu some a master said, even ten thousand yuan without a good chair, chair can’t universality, and then finish the evaluation I’m totally confused, I plan to buy a chair over and over again in the future, I finally can’t abide that Zhang Mu chair in October, I decided to find a chair to recommend direct order, don’t want to so much, Then I decided to go to YouTube and saw that a female programmer shared Jinhao B. Although the evaluation of B website also said that this chair was not good, BUT I read so many reviews, it seemed that except for tens of thousands of chairs, none of the chairs received good comments, so I placed an order. After buying, feel this chair is really good, than before that wooden stool strong can be more than a little bit, often sedentary or recommended to buy an ergonomic chair.

Don’t always indulge in fantasy

Although it is not small, but I still feel like a young in years, running like fantasy becomes a dragon flying, immersed in fantasy, why become a dragon, since the childhood like drama, the dragon in the hidden land work is to become a dinosaur, but feeling is very good, but it is important to note that Don’t fantasize about it while running on the road, because it can feel dangerous in retrospect.

Find a haven to heal yourself

Even the aircraft carrier does not sail on the sea all the time. There is also a day when it comes back for repair. The port for overhaul of the aircraft carrier is called a haven, which means “haven” in Chinese:

Cover the ship during the storm

A place where we can get away from danger.

People need a harbor of their own. After a day’s sailing, they come to their harbor, put down all the guard, and find their own happiness, that is, to find fun, can be playing games, can be watching videos. When I was in college, one of the most relaxing things to do when I came back from study hall was to watch the food tutorial videos on STATION B. In recent days, these videos seem to be my safe haven in some ways, because some UP families are really happy. In fact, I also liked it before, but later I fell in love with Douyin. However, the video tempo of Douyin is too fast to accommodate the aircraft carrier to stay for a long time. I hope you all find your own safe haven.