A programmer went for an interview. The interviewer asked, “You’ve only been out of school for two years. How did you get your three years of experience? !” The programmer replied, “Overtime.”
2. A programmer was very interested in calligraphy and decided to make a career in it after retirement. So he spent a lot of money to buy the four treasures of the study. One day, after dinner suddenly born elegant, a time of grinding ink to imitate paper, and point on the good sandalwood, quite have Wang Xizhi style, and yan Zhenqing momentum, calm the mind for a moment, splashing ink, solemnly write a line of words: Hello world.
Q: Which son of Kangxi do programmers hate most? A. There is no rest. Because he’s a bug.
4. The programmer had three children, named Ctrl, Alt and Delete, and if they didn’t behave, all he had to do was tap them at the same time.
Cheng XX suffered a car accident into a vegetative state, the doctor said she survived only one in ten thousand hope, wake up more slim. Her colleagues and relatives did not give up, and according to cheng xx’s obsession with testing, they read around her every day: “The module you tested rolled back after it went online.” Miracle happened, cheng XX wake up the first word: confirm that module is I measure?
A programmer drowned while swimming at the beach. There were many lifeguards on the beach, but no one could help him. Because he kept Shouting “F1! “Formula one!” No one knows what “F1” really means.
The furthest distance in the world is that I am in if and you are in else. Although they often appear together, they are never executed together.
8. The most frustrating thing a programmer can do is to stay up late and write an elegant source file. A colleague with a bad code style changes it and leaves it unsigned, so that everyone thinks you wrote it.
The front end engineer said, I went to a dating site to find a girlfriend. My friend asked, did you find it? The engineer said he had found a bug in their page.
C programmers look down on C++ programmers, C++ programmers look down on Java programmers, Java programmers look down on C# programmers, C# programmers look down on artists, over the weekend, artists took their girls out on a date, a group of programmers are still working overtime!
It is said that when a foreigner was young, he was determined to be a great writer. What is great? He said, I write for the whole world to see! They’ll be hysterical! Will fly into a rage! It will be painful! As a result, he succeeded. He was responsible for writing the system blue screen error message at Microsoft.
12, two programmers chat, programmer a complained: “programmer is too hard, I want to break line…… What can I do?” Programmer b: “Hit enter.”
Programmers hate four things: write comments, write documents, others do not write comments, others do not write documents……
14. Men need to remember that the key to arguing with a woman is to ignore everything the way you read the “terms of service” when installing software or signing up for a website. Go to the bottom and tick “I agree” and then click “OK.”
15. Product Manager: “You see, you can swipe right here to get a menu, and then you need a flashing animation, and I think this TAB can pull down, you know? Stylist: “don’t talk nonsense, the product that you want to copy shows me next.”
The programmer watches TV with the product manager. Each program to see half of the program ape will change the channel, see half of the channel, after several times the product manager finally unbearable roar: Lao Tze just see a point of meaning you change, just see a point of meaning you change, in the end also let people watch? ! Program ape calm stare at TV way: you half change demand of time I can not squeak!
She had a stomachache during her period. He sat next to her, took a look at her, took out his mobile phone to play games, and she looked in her eyes and felt cold. Two minutes later, she really can not sit down, is ready to leave, I saw him silently handed over his millet mobile phone said: take to cover.
18, someone posted: “Everyone JR, I want to make a program ape, what should I pay attention to…”
Some ape: “wait for me to go off work to tell you……” Then… There is no next.
Programmer A: Dude, do you have money?
Programmer B: There are programmer A: Can you lend me some? Programmer B: Huh? What did you say? Programmer A: Lend me some? Programmer B: No, the last one? Programmer A: Do you have money? Programmer B: No. Programmer A: dizzy, the program requests again, the result is not the same!