Column | chapter nine algorithm

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First of all, we come to Spring Festival have been hold the programmer with sincere condolences, behind is that they are quietly pay, to realize the needs of so many, to so much pleasure out of the people throughout the country, to make our life during the Spring Festival can run normally and orderly, let small make up take a red envelope at Chinese New Year in the process of mobile phone system didn’t crash!

Next, let’s talk about how the programmers who finally ask boss to take their annual leave to go home for Chinese New Year are spending the holiday.

Journey 1: Prayer before the feast

Weibo programmers working overtime to salvage code at weddings have become popular jokes. When you finally get home for the Spring Festival, in order to avoid being killed by the boss during the Spring Festival, you need to fix the bug. Praying that the code doesn’t have any bugs before the Spring Festival is the first step to embark on the Spring Festival journey.

Trip two: Visit relatives

As a popular activity of the Spring Festival, this trip consumes the most time and energy among all the trips. After all, it’s almost impossible to stay indoors during a time like Spring Festival, when you’ll inevitably be out in the public eye, meeting people for censorship.

At this point, we are often referred to as “code logic flow schema” :

Asking when you’re looking for a girlfriend/boyfriend, enthusiastically setting you up, trying to get you married, trying to get you to have a baby are just the tip of the iceberg when you’re visiting relatives.

If you have a large family and many relatives, you will encounter many topics in turn. Here are the two most common:

Topic 1: What’s your job?

Relative: What do you do? I: I am a programmer some relative: programmer is specific stem what of? Me: Well... (serious to oneself of work carry on explanation) some relative: programmer good, the original be to make a computer of! I'm having a problem with my computer. Can you take a look at it?Copy the code

You’ll suddenly feel like the center of attention, and everyone will be eager to ask for help:

  • Please help me fix my computer.

  • Help me reinstall the system!

  • Help me make a plug-in!

  • Hack a website for me!

  • Grab a ticket for me!

As if in the eyes of relatives, programmers are almost omnipotent:

  • I’m a programmer = I can fix computers for sure

  • I am a programmer = I will install the system

  • I am a programmer = I will do plug-ins

  • I’m a programmer = I must have hacking skills

  • I’m a programmer = I can definitely grab a ticket

Topic 2: How much is your salary?

Based on the lessons you’ve learned over the last two years, your mind will have to work at warp speed to figure out how to answer this question. Because:

  • If you change the subject or answer in a vague way, relatives will think you don’t make much money and feel embarrassed to talk.

  • But if you tell them the truth, they’ll think you’re talking too high. But even if they believe you, you may not be able to get over it, which raises the question of whether you would agree with relatives who are keen to find an outlet for your savings.

Journey 3: Blind date

Although we often joke with each other that “no one can find a New partner”, the truth is that it is not easy for programmers to meet friends of the opposite sex because they are so focused on technology and live and work in a small circle. Therefore, many programmers have gone through the process of dating, which seems to be the best way to get rid of a single person.

So is the dating process really that smooth? That depends on the person. If you are not satisfied with a blind date, it is OK to respond politely. If you find a blind date that makes you fall in love at first sight, here are some important tips to follow:

  • Don’t talk about technology and don’t use jargon your partner doesn’t understand.

  • Do not be nervous, do not always shy bowed their heads, learn to take the initiative;

  • Talk about topics of interest to the other person, such as school days, travel and movies.

  • If you have any problems with your computer, please contact me at any time.

  • Don’t get called to talk about work and keep talking;

  • If you can’t find anything to talk about, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, spend five minutes surfing the Internet, and continue the conversation.

  • If all else fails, talk about income.

Of course, if the girl you’re looking for is also a programmer who happens to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime lucky girls, feel free to talk to someone who saved the galaxy.

Journey 4: Write code

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Yes, after the previous journey, I had no energy left. I just wanted to read the documents quietly and summarize my thoughts carefully. Spring Festival is coming to an end, and it’s time to finally go to work! Let me get back to coding!

The last

As a programmer you, in your New Year’s journey, and encountered what situations, what stories happened? Come and share or make fun of it!

Finally, I wish you all a smooth New Year, career promotion, the year of the dog!

Dynamic needle parting

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