“Live up to the time, the creation of non-stop, this article is participating in 2021 year-end summary essay competition”

The preface

He has been out of school for a year and a half, and has experienced a lot of things. Like most people, he leaves school and looks for a job. Slowly, his life is full of work, which is more than he thought before.

Say goodbye to

In early April, 21, I boarded the train to Beijing with an immature idea and was taught the first lesson of reality. Just like most people, they started to look for a job after graduation. Due to the epidemic, they all chose online interview. After several months of efforts, they also gained something. The first lesson began. When I arrived in Beijing, the company informed me that the position was cancelled and asked if I could try other positions (which had nothing to do with the position I applied for). Tears. I hope you don’t get fooled. Due to my lack of preparation, I refused this company and began to live in isolation for half a month, during which I could not go anywhere. After staying for about half a month, I found the air outside was so beautiful that I felt very comfortable to walk around outside.

In the process of isolation, I also applied for jobs online and sent resumes. I also had several telephone interviews and agreed to go offline after the isolation was over. After the end of isolation, I started the process of looking for a place to live. After contacting the location by phone, I hurried there, and the rest several hundred meters later. Looking at the navigation on my phone, I was lost in thought, wondering that I could not find a place to rent a house. Up to now, I have moved seven times in total. It is true that I feel a little uncomfortable. I wasted so much time on the road before, it is not easy to float around, being alone in a strange land. After I settled my residence, I began to look for a job. Due to my own reasons, I was not fully prepared, which led to frequent failures in interviews. Finally, I lowered my expectations and found a relatively acceptable job, and since then I began to live as a migrant worker. Every day, from home to the company, from the company to the house, cycle, like a zombie, just alive, feel like a repeat of school, repeat, but in a different place.

Later, I had skateboarding, and my life was happy. When I was working, I thought I could go skateboarding on weekends, which was also something to look forward to. As time goes by, in addition to my work, I also get to know some partners with the same hobbies through skateboarding, and some partners engaged in the same work. I can also communicate with them in work and improve my own skills. At the beginning, I didn’t know anyone and felt a little lonely in a strange city without relatives. Although loneliness is a necessary thing in life, I don’t like this feeling instinctively. Loneliness may make people stronger.

Know more, feel a play is also quite good, working days to work well, solve encountered in the work of the Bug, the weekend and friends to go skateboarding, but get along with long, find yourself actually still is a person, will still feel lonely, hard to cater to others, can take a piece to play, may also is the child of mind, This process will also be affected by emotions, and I am a very emotional person myself. Persuade others all is a cook, only things fall on his head, to feel some things actually difficult to handle, everybody says it is good to have a few real friends, make you actually don’t need to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, how to say, people will encounter in the growth of all kinds of people, most are part of the life only through, or short or long, It’s all part of the experience.

Over the past 20 years, I have experienced a lot and thought a lot, but I still have a hard time understanding the relationship with my partner. No matter what I was before or what I am now, I always think that if we are friends, we can go on for a long time. It would be nice if we could go on forever. During the experience, but is far different from their own ideas, there are friends said, open point, but it seems to be not realistic on their own, with the growth of age, this idea is still unchanged. Eager to have friends, but also hope to always have someone to accompany, may be a lot of people will look down on such a person, feel quite a freshman, how can there be such a naive idea.

Sometimes open, feel oneself can again, suddenly feel life is full of sunshine, but hard when, feel the world is against yourself, as if abandoned by the world feeling, the world is gray, no light. Is a bit funny, the 22 years life cycle is this kind of situation, don’t know since when, also because of the difference between friends, the eccentricity of the friend, I will feel lost, there will be a kind of abandoned feeling, and feel afraid, actually also very afraid to lose, lost own, losing friends, loved ones.

Sometimes I want to cater to others, care about others’ opinions, and be thought of by others. I feel very tired, but I won’t let go. I always guide my heart with others’ opinions, and subconsciously think of others. It’s a paradox not to like the feeling, but to be afraid of losing it.

It’s like being in the dark, longing for a light in the dark, being able to take yourself out and feel the joy in the sun.

Maybe life is such ups and downs, will let a person feel is alive, with the feeling of birth.

Looking forward to

In 2022, I hope I can say goodbye to the past myself (although it is unlikely, just say it casually). Honestly, I don’t like this kind of myself, I really feel uncomfortable. I hope I can make some progress.

learning
  • Study according to the plan and improve your Code ability
  • How to brush leetcode
  • Learn the nuggets booklet you have purchased
  • Read two books that have nothing to do with technology and take it to the next level
life
  • Less emo, happy sunshine
  • I hope I make new friends, the ones that last forever
  • Hope that someone will shout themselves out to play, do not want to always humble shout others
  • Preferably with someone (wishful thinking)
entertainment
  • Skateboard technology up up up
  • I hope we can continue to play together
  • Hopefully there will be other events

Put an end to

These are the daily struggles that seem to take up most of the time, and when EMO is over, it’s time to think about the future. That must be to make money, earn a lot of money, no one will be hard to live with money, so, or need to improve their own, in the limited time, do more things. Let life full, less unhappy things, more meaningful things to do, come on.

When the wind blows, it is appropriate to courageously intend life.