What does loneliness look like to you? Is the embarrassment of eating alone, is the second cup half price no one to share the bitterness, or after working overtime late night home empty loneliness?
The nature of working overseas is loneliness, and working with code all day seems to make it worse.
We’ve collected 10 short stories from our friends who have been wandering in foreign countries. How many of these loneliness have you experienced?
1. Others graduate family photo, I graduate alone
I am a CS Master graduate. I heard that with the invitation letter of the graduation ceremony of the school, the visa could be approved, so I took it lightly. So I didn’t help my parents prepare my resume. I just told them some things to pay attention to. As a result, both of them were rejected!
Graduation ceremonies are so important in The eyes of Americans that some parents drop business to attend their children’s graduation ceremonies.
As a result, I was the only one in the class at the graduation ceremony. It was so bitter to see other people’s family taking a family photo.
2. Business transcoding, no comrade-in-arms difficult to insist
Business zero base transcoding, at present on-the-job brush, while working while learning too difficult. In addition to weekends, there is rarely a long period of time to brush questions. Sometimes, one question can not be finished all morning, which makes people feel no sense of achievement.
Because I don’t understand the architecture of computer languages, I have no idea when to use TreeSwet or TreeMap, or what the difference is between LinkedHashMap and HashMap.
Last weekend to do the problem, think of their undergraduate + master worked so hard to learn 6 years of business, thousands of miles away to the United States, spend so much money to read, 27 years old still brush the problem change, the problem also do not come out, gas cry…… I want to have a buddy to work with.
3. Fly alone to Silicon Valley for an interview and get lost on the streets of California
I am a CS master in Michigan and am now coming to California to become a silicon Valley onsite. The company is nice and covers the flights and accommodation. The plane took off, and it felt like my Silicon Valley dream took off.
However, shortly after leaving the airport, I found that my phone was missing and I couldn’t even call Uber. Unfamiliar city life is not familiar, ask for help from passers-by, think know the name of the station all right, the results found 5 names the same station, I simply collapse……
The worst thing about my Onsite onsite job is that I was so flustered that I messed up my interview and got rejected. Can I still make it to Silicon Valley?
4. It’s hard to survive in the workplace
I recently worked with a group that was 80% branding, using a tool they developed. Since there is no documentation for this tool, it is so buggy and difficult to use that it will never work. I stayed up late every day to help them report bugs, but the project was still not completed on time.
At the group meeting the branders dumped it all on me, saying that they had detailed documentation and that it was all my fault that the task was not completed on time. Because I did not use email to leave evidence during communication, I could only eat coptis chinense dumb, silently carrying the “pot”.
In the face of the brand of “solidarity”, my professional survival was in question.
5. When I had to move, I carried 2 tons of luggage
Flax hard for 5 years, often at 10 o ‘clock in the evening before coming off work, the road is already brightly lit. This year, I finally moved to a more relaxed group in Microsoft, thinking that I could live a nine-to-five relaxed life. Results have not entered the job, was moved to a serious illness.
Labor costs in the United States are not cheap, in order to save money, I move by myself. Only to discover 5 years of hoarding too much luggage, really suspect that these homes have several tons of weight! I was busy from nine in the morning until eleven at night.
All say “people unlucky up to drink water plug teeth”, try to be brave to move a person, the next day I had a fever. After that, it took me two weeks to get my stuff done.
Ah, I always feel quite independent, wandering outside for so many years rarely cry tired, this move let me know what is called despair.
6. Single mother and baby, how about a new partner?
When I was in school, I was not interested in love. After work, I kept coding constantly. Besides, I was very inward-looking. Now I am embarrassed to tell others that I was born solo when I was 28 years old. For fear of being treated as a strange person, I usually say that I have had 1 or 2 girlfriends.
Have to attend a friend’s wedding, everybody chats in succession between the banquet oneself affection experience, chatting chatting suddenly cue arrived me, at that time I originally plan to use “after come to the United States had handed in 2 Chinese girl friend” prevarication past, however just by master classmate expose: “have you handed in girl friend? Alone in love? New object of your own?” The air froze with embarrassment.
To tell you the truth, I really envy couples. But the bay Area’s gender ratio is so skewed, you can see single code farmers like me everywhere. Alas, when will my single life end?
During the Spring Festival on-call, I have to pretend to be high
I will make an on-call once a month for 24h*7 days each time. In the week of the Spring Festival of 2019, it was my turn to go on call. I had to get up in the early hours of every morning to analyze the root cause, and I was so tired that I collapsed.
At 3 o ‘clock in the morning in the West of the United States, it is the time for the Chinese New Year’s Eve dinner. And I eat instant noodles to satisfy hunger, thought lively is all of you, only overtime belongs to me.
Just then, mom came to wechat:
“Son, see you just give a lot of people like, why 3 o ‘clock you still up?”
“Emmmm… During the Spring Festival, I ate in a Chinese restaurant with my friends.”
“It’s still open at 3 o ‘clock. You said foreign restaurants close early.”
“Over, Chinese New Year, opened relatively late. If you don’t believe me, I’ll send you a picture. Don’t say, I went to eat first.”
Hang up the phone, I “fake” friends moments pictures forward to mom. A white lie is indispensable to a wanderer. I haven’t been home for the Spring Festival for 7 years. I miss my family so much during the festival. The lonely Spring Festival is really difficult.
8. I was asked to book an operation for six months for a relapse
It is said that one of the highest states of loneliness is “seeing a doctor alone”. This kind of situation was hit by me. Once I had a recurrence of gallbladder stone, and the pain was so bad that I rolled around in the middle of the night, and I dared not call an ambulance because it cost $3000.
So I took a taxi to the hospital alone and was told there would be a seven-hour wait for a doctor to see me. Finally, the pain was so great that I couldn’t wait to find another private clinic to pay $100 for an urgent B ultrasound, only to get the results a week later. The doctor recommended surgery, but it’s not scheduled for at least six months.
Oh, my God. I was in pain. I couldn’t wait that long. Finally, he had to take a one-month leave to return to China for treatment.
After every day I worry about going back will be PIP, after all, the recent market is not good, layoffs, stop recruiting one after another, then leave the risk is too big……
When one person gets sick abroad, it’s a disaster.
When something happens to you in middle age, you have to lay off
I’m the unlucky one in office politics! The original company was Star Up, the project failed, the reORG changed the boss, and the new boss and the old boss were enemies, so they laid me off
My wife is pregnant with my second child and I haven’t had three months to settle down yet. I didn’t dare tell her I was laid off and pretended to go to work every day.
Is art derived from life, or is life really bloody? I never thought the “pretend to work” scene in the movie would be true in my life. There were so many people on the road that everyone looked busy, as if I was the only one doing nothing.
10. Come to the US for 10 years, watch the 70th anniversary parade tear down
On November 11 this year, my circle of friends was flooded with pictures of the 70th anniversary military parade: fiance phalanx, a veteran who burst into tears in a second, endless big planes…… The motherland has changed too much, every picture is moving.
When I was in China, I was not interested in such national grand ceremonies as military parade. Instead, I came to the United States, probably because I was homesick and paid special attention to every celebration.
I burst into tears when the picture of this year’s military parade swept past Lang Zheng, the “salute doll” of the Wenchuan earthquake. I am a native of Chengdu who witnessed the devastating earthquake in 2008, and I can still vividly remember the scenes of encouraging each other in sorrow with my friends after the earthquake.
It has been 10 years since you came to the United States. How are you?
In fact, loneliness is the normal life, everyone is inevitably vulnerable, but life is not as we expect, always full of security.
Acceptance of loneliness is a sign of independence. But I also hope that when we need warmth most, someone will tell us that it doesn’t matter, I am here.
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