Two days ago I heard a programmer dream he died, saw the king of hell, the result did not lead a few days, I also made the same dream……
All I remember in my dream is a white light and I’m in hell
How dead, also did not stem guilty conscience, everyday diligent work, resolutely support 996, neither domestic violence, also never derailed, so dead……
I was puzzled until I finally learned the truth from the boy who escorted me:
Oh, shit. They’re pulling me out because I work hard?
(Facts prove that hard work can, but also to pay attention to the body ah, long-term 996 easy to be yama’s eyes……)
In this way, under the threat of the king of hell, I had to pick up this project, after all, living in the world is not easy, dead to offend the leadership, in the day of the underworld dare not imagine
Since I received the project, I must do well. Maybe Mr. Yan will be happy and give me a good family. When I just arrived in The Netherland, I was still unfamiliar with the working process of the whole netherland and the business of each department. In order to make the project smooth (ZAO) and profitable (RI) and open (TOU) and show (TAI), I immediately sought the heads of all departments to understand the situation. I did not expect that the organizational structure of the hell is quite perfect, all department functions are very complete, it seems to drag a lot of management from the world.
Department: Ghost Business Division
Big guy: Black and white is impermanent
When both of them heard that I had come to relieve their work pressure, they burst into tears of emotion: “The work of seduction is too southern, 24/7 standby. We are mainly responsible for collecting souls in the sun, recording how people died, whether it was a normal death or an unnatural death. Every day to recover the soul to record, but also along with the collection of life data, to the judge, but also by Yan old urge to fill travel details, there is no way to automatic collection ah…”
Looking at the dark circles under the eyes of the two eldest brothers, I suddenly felt sorry for them
Department: Judge data Center
Big man: Judge
Then, I floated to the judge there, judge let the devil moved to a pile of child life and death book, and ridicule let me try to find their life records, to a VIP reincarnation. Boy, it took me over seven hours to find it. The records show that I have been upright since childhood, but I have been single for more than 20 years, and have never done anything harmful to god and reason. The judge circled the word “reincarnated” on the back of my death record, which was a relief.
This trip also basically clarified the business situation of the judges: there are about tens of thousands of souls sent here every day, and the judges need to summarize the data of Yin and Yang according to their death records and living records, and assign reincarnation after going through them. Yang Shou did not die to wait in line, Yang Shou to the life without bad records to Meng Po that soup reincarnation, bad things lost to hell, but also manual judgment distribution hell level, to a soul they have to climb the floor to find life and death data.
Judge ridicule: “the maintenance of the work is too difficult, now waiting for reincarnation of the soul has backlog of tens of millions, his hundreds of ghosts are tired of want to reincarnation.”
No wonder birth rates are low all over the world. That’s the problem.
Department: Reincarnation Distribution Center
Big guy: Meng Po
Finally floated to Meng Po there, this want to pat ass, curious to probe the secret recipe of Meng Po soup, did not expect Meng Po than the judge also busy, waiting for a long time to see haggard Meng Po.
Knowing my purpose, Meng Po grabbed my hand and cried to me: “I am an old woman, not only to ladle soup, but also to check whether it meets the conditions of reincarnation, but also to record the destination of reincarnation. I have to report to the king of Hell regularly every week and every month. It only takes one minute for you to cast a fetus, but it takes several hours for me to compile a list every week. And these two years I don’t know why, young and promising people are reincarnated, I am a person fast busy even the soup is too late to cook.”
Ah, it is not easy to be a servant in the underworld.
Visited a circle of business department of the Underworld, I have seen countless problems like this in Yangjian, the big plan is to build a data management platform. So notice each department sends an imp to send data, see direct meng…..
Family register, academic and professional history, criminal history, illness history, emotional history, good and evil book… Large and small more than 20 categories of books, the average person has 3, 40, hundreds of records, originally wanted to use SQL to show their skills, then give up.
To integrate so much data, unified caliber management, this must not build a data warehouse? Also need to set up front-end data entry, report details display, automatic data update tracking, I can think of only FineReport.
The first step is to make a report form for the black and white fickle department. After recording the cause of death of each person, it will be automatically submitted to the database, saving the effort of paper and sorting out forms.
The judge side is mainly a number warehouse. I gathered 100 kids and spent a month inputting data into pre-designed reports, sorting out field caliber and making inquiry tables. Each time the person only has to screen the report line, set up automatic judgment conditions to determine whether it is good or bad, compared to the list of processing direction.
(Friendly reminder, alive or to do good deeds, or be marked as a villain, reincarnation opportunity is not)
Solved the judge’s problem, the next is Meng Po, Meng Po is really miserable, an age to toss weekly reports. Another look at meng Po handed over the data sheet, a pile of weekly reports, a pile of monthly reports, the pile is higher than my people, I can see that is really a diligent person.
In the judge there, I had done a good job to Meng Po reincarnation destination table, fill in reincarnation type data, as long as the date, and then click a query, you can query the date of the week of reincarnation data. Oh, I also suggest Mr. Yan to purchase a batch of mailbox systems, so as to cooperate with the timing, automatic push to the mailbox, the devil newspaper delivery things are saved.
So down meng Po basically no workload, ease of soup on the line.
The first phase of the project was launched, and the work efficiency of all departments was greatly improved. Black and white impermanent two brothers now go up to kill, can record cause of death automatically, judge can see death record directly in the system, one key call out list allocation. The most happy is Meng Po, automatic report timing submission, Meng Po leisure and in the development of the next round of Meng Po soup recipe.
In order to reinstate before I brilliant, I gave them a set of clusters, according to the algorithm will be thousands of ghosts query fill the request reasonable distribution to the cluster of each node, but also increase the expansion node to prepare for the upcoming aging, Meng Po there also asked Yan Lao to allocate several hands in parallel soup.
Since then, my status in Hell has skyrocketed
Just as I was wondering whether I should choose an educated family or a wealthy landlord, the king of Yama sent me another message:
In this way, my “hell big screen plan” of the beginning of the drum……
A lot of people start having similar dreams, all of them dying
Product Manager:
I had a dream last night that I died
He entered the Hall of the King of Hell
The King of the Underworld asked me to design a data screen for him
Designer:
I had a dream last night that I died
He entered the Hall of the King of Hell
The God of the Underworld asked me to make a large screen template for his hades
HR:
I had a dream last night that I died
He entered the Hall of the King of Hell
Lord Yan asked me to recruit two programmers for him
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Have brothers to do the big screen project of life and death, welcome to leave a message!
Source: The full stack developer community