I am one of the core developers of ThinkPHP and the author of "Inside and Out: The Way programmers Grow".Copy the codeWhy to say this old topic, some people never understand this question. I began to think about this question of life in junior high school, and it took me ten years to form a satisfactory answer.
When we talk to people, we’re not talking about ourselves, we’re talking about our kids, we’re talking about what we know. The attitude of always wanting to be noticed, rather than listening and learning from others.
Is it possible for us to want to be noticed and famous? If you want to be noticed, people will want to be noticed. Everyone is thinking of themselves, others will not always remember your things, only remember their own things. You may have done something embarrassing in front of others that you will never forget, but others may forget in a few days, because it has nothing to do with others, but you. How long will modern entrepreneurs like Ma Yun and Wang Shi be remembered? Maybe they died for a few decades and no one would remember them. How many entrepreneurs can you name during the Republic of China? Even a great man like MAO Zedong will fade into oblivion after thousands of years.
“How to Win Friends” written by Carnegie has a deep influence on me. I have long understood that the desire to become famous is one of the weaknesses of human nature. The desire to be famous brings us a lot of trouble. It makes us do unnecessary things and do useless things in order to get performance in front of others. It makes us feel bad about not being shown in front of others.
Being famous should not be the meaning of life. So what is the meaning of life? Life has no meaning, its meaning is what we give it. Everyone understands the meaning of life differently. To form their own outlook on life, we need to know ourselves and the world.
Know yourself
Our power comes not from how happy we are but from how close we are to the truth.
A lot of people’s happiness is fake happiness, they don’t admit their pain. For example, some people do not admit that their parents do not love him, pretend that their parents love him; Some people pretend their work is fun and don’t admit it’s boring. Some people do not admit their poor communication, pretend to have many friends; Many people deliberately keep themselves busy, pretending to live a full life, but actually live a lonely life.
Is that really fun? Such a person, when the crowd dispersed, when the quiet of the night, always feel a little sad, but he forced himself to think no more, go to sleep, wake up the next day, continue busy, continue to pretend.
We should recognize our pain and face it squarely. Only by approaching the truth can we discover the meaning of our existence and live with real strength.
So how do you approach the truth?
Whenever we have a “bad feeling”, we want to avoid it, we don’t want to admit it. Bad feelings: guilt, boredom, sadness, anger, fear, etc. Every bad feeling is actually sending us a message. The feeling of guilt, for example, often the message is: the unbalance between friends, like a friend pay for you all the time, you don’t know how to return, the more he good for you, the more you guilty, you don’t want to accept him more and more good to you, if you didn’t understand guilt passed to your information, but want to run away the guilty feeling, finally can only be friends apart. Similarly, boredom communicates a lack of presence; Grief is often due to family reasons; Anger is because your space or freedom has been invaded by others; Fear is because of a problem in your relationship with someone important to you. When we recognize the message that bad feelings are sending us, we sometimes know the right way to deal with the problem.
Sometimes our current emotions are not caused by current events, but by things that happened when we were kids. It’s just that something has happened that’s similar to what happened when you were a kid, and it’s bringing up the same emotions you had when you were a kid. When we feel an emotion, think about when you first felt that emotion, what happened, and how you felt about it at that time. If you were in a bad mood because of a bad perception, now is the time to correct your perception. Also, make a clear distinction between what is happening now and what happened when you were a child. It is possible that what is happening now is just like what happened when you were a child. The nature of things is completely different from what happened when you were a child. If you really can’t remember what happened when you first felt such an emotion, tell yourself that things are definitely different now than when you were a child. Now you have grown up, have independent thinking ability, and know how to solve the problem correctly.
For example, I used to be reluctant to lend my book to others, for I was afraid that they would make my book worse. Even if someone breathed on my book, I would feel that there must be bacteria in the gas, and I felt very uncomfortable, so I quickly took the book to wipe it. Why do I feel so strange? It’s all because of childhood influences.
When I was young, I went home with my friends in the same village after school. When I was tired and enjoying the cool under the tree, I took out my textbook and sat on the ground. One of my friends said that my grades would decline because I sat on the textbook. Rural people are superstitious, when I was young, I did not have the discernment ability to challenge ghosts and gods. At that time, I thought that the companion’s statement was a superstition, which might come true, and I could not overcome it. Then he was very afraid. From then on, I dared not sit in my book, and I was afraid of others sitting in my book. Finally, I enlarged my mood, not only afraid of others sitting in my book, but also afraid of others getting a piece of my book.
When we grow up, we have to rediscover some of the things we did when we were young. Maybe it was just a joke from a companion, not a superstition. We now have a new understanding of superstition and should no longer be afraid of others getting a book. More ridiculous time, at that time just said that sitting book grades will decline, I was actually afraid to get a book, the mood expanded.
We also have to distinguish between conscious and subconscious. The subconscious mind is our first reaction, our first thought, without much thought, a habit left over from the past. The subconscious is not necessarily right. I still occasionally feel afraid that someone will make a mess of my book when someone borrowings it from me, but I know that it’s just my subconscious, as long as I don’t act like it’s my conscious mind. The subconscious mind is something we can’t control, and it’s normal to have it sometimes, but we can control our conscious mind so that it doesn’t do what the subconscious mind does. Some people can’t tell the difference between conscious and subconscious, so they commit crimes.
Our personalities, thoughts and habits are shaped by our previous experiences.
There are even some habits that are inherited from our ancestors. People get nervous easily, for example. As you read this, notice if your eyebrows and shoulders are tight. If it is tight, you are in a tense state. Try to relax yourself, say relax to your brow first… Relax… , then relax your scalp, then relax your shoulders; You may find that when you relax, your unconscious body will automatically tense up again after a while, tightening up your eyebrows and shoulders. Why is that? When our ancestors were primitive people, they would be nervous and ready to run away at the slightest disturbance in the jungle. That kind of tension kept our ancestors alive. But we don’t need that kind of stress anymore, and studies have shown that we’re more productive when we’re relaxed than when we’re stressed. Practicing relaxation every day is good for your body and mind.
People also have a habit of asking for things, such as love, attention. This habit is formed from the moment we are born. When we are in the womb, it is the amniotic fluid near us that nourishes us and keeps us alive. When we were born one day, we were pushed out to the outside world. The outside world was so strange that we felt fear for the first time and lost the amniotic fluid that provided us with nutrition. We cried loudly and always wanted to find the old amniotic fluid. Babies cry when they’re hungry. It’s the only way to get attention. It’s the only way to stay alive. We can live without amniotic fluid when we are born. We can live without the love of our parents when we grow up. We can live without attracting attention now. Instead of taking from the outside, turn inward and know who you really are inside.
Know yourself:
-
Acknowledge your bad feelings, distinguish between your subconscious and conscious mind, and discover the message bad feelings send;
-
Recognize the things that caused bad emotions in childhood;
-
Change your nervous habits; Change the habit of taking from others.
-
There’s endless power when you know who you are.
There are two books that can help us understand ourselves: Meeting The Unknown Self and Being Thankful for Your Imperfections.
To know the world
The world is made up of matter and energy. An object is made up of various elements, atoms and molecules. If the object moves, it will generate energy, for example, the energy generated by wind movement can generate electricity. Man is composed of matter and spirit. His body is composed of various elements, atoms and molecules. He also has spirit, which is almost the same as the energy of nature. Nature has the law of conservation of energy, and the human spirit also obeys this law. When we want something mentally, we may lose something elsewhere, for example, we want to be noticed, we want to perform in front of others, and at the same time there may be some people who don’t perform, who lose attention. When you show off in front of others, want others to worship you, in fact, they may not worship you, but jealous of you.
People are living on the earth, people may be only a small dust for the earth. The Earth is also insignificant in the universe. There are many planets hundreds of millions of times larger than the Earth, and people may never know how big the universe is. I imagined that the solar system might be an atom, the sun a nucleus, and the Earth an electron. The solar system and other galaxies form one cell, and we are all in one giant organism, in which humans are like bacteria. One person’s birth, old age, sickness and death do not make any difference to the whole world. Our problems are small enough for the whole world. We sometimes overestimate difficulties. We should underestimate difficulties and overestimate progress.
Most of the time we just look at the difficulties, in fact, the difficulties themselves are not so big, some people may be sad because of the rain, but also may be sad because of the earthquake, they are sad to the same extent, obviously the rain people to the difficulties amplified, amplified and experienced the same earthquake.
When I was in junior high school, I suffered from drug-induced tinnitus. I had been treating bad diseases and tinnitus all the time. At that time, I took this difficulty seriously and thought that tinnitus would definitely affect my English hearing and lead to my English performance decline. The ancients said you win some, you lose some, I think you lose some, when you lose something may also gain something, but people tend to only pay attention to what they lost, but do not find what they got. In the end, I felt that although I was suffering from drug-induced tinnitus, being able to read in a noisy environment was what I got. I dropped out of high school again because I learned that you lose something, you gain something. Instead of complaining, I found what I got. I think I have enough time. My classmates are busy preparing for the college entrance examination at school, and they have little spare time, while I have a lot of time, which I use to read books on computer. After recovering from illness, I did not study in school, but did website programming.
When we meet with difficulties, think about the earth, think about the universe, people are so small, a person’s life and death, for the whole world will not have any change, we encounter difficulties are really insignificant.
We should also know the history and the thoughts of Laozi, Confucius and Zhuangzi in China, as well as those of Socrates, Bratu and Jesus in other countries. Understand modern MAO Zedong, Marx thought. Talk to historical figures and place yourself in history. You also have to form your own view of how the future is going to develop, and have a blueprint for the future.
After understanding the world, our view of things will rise to a higher level. We will not only be limited to things themselves and not know the true face of things, but have the overall idea. When chatting with others, we will not only talk about what we know, but also talk about the situation and future development trend. The book Different Pleasures can help us understand the world.
Develop your own outlook on life.
If you don’t have a clear outlook on life, you need to know yourself first and then the world. And then think about your life. Each I don’t want to live the same every day, I hope some own experience, experience some things, this is my some views, very early so I went to Shanghai without hesitation, went to Beijing by not hesitate, because have never been to big companies, so went to sina, because there is no real business, so they are out of sina with colleagues to start a business. What else can you do? I came to the conclusion that I should not only enrich my experience, but also share my experience with others so that others can gain something from it. Just as many people have traveled, but few have written a book like Yu qiuyu to share their feelings about traveling, Yu has done something more meaningful.
Sharing and showing off are different in nature. The purpose of sharing is to let others learn something, while showing off is to show others what they have, and others will not gain anything.
People are always asking for things without knowing themselves, like love and attention. Then when you really know yourself, your heart is full and you don’t need to ask for anything. It’s time to export something. Showing off is a way of getting something out, sharing is a way of giving something out. I will continue to experience and learn, and then continue to share, no matter how many people can be affected, someone will gain.
Rich experience and willingness to share is what I consider a meaningful life.
Please know yourself first, then know the world. And then think about your life. If you don’t know yourself and the world first, the life you come up with may be the result of human weakness, your parents or the country, but not yours at all.
The meaning of life is different for everyone. Some people may like to settle down, while others think it is meaningful to raise good children. Whatever makes sense to you.
Reading is a way to quickly increase your experience. I recommend reading the books mentioned in this article. If you are not in the habit of reading before, you can first check out “Super Fast Reading” by Gruning to learn how to read.