I am a programmer. It has been more than 6 years since I returned to Luoyang, a third-tier city, at the age of 24. Accidentally exposed his actual age, but the old readers know, I live in yan have skill, last time to see a house, the salesman said for sure: “the little brother is certainly smaller than me, I am less than 24 this year.” I had to force a smile: “You’re right.”

Here are three of the smartest choices I’ve ever made, as far as I can remember and now as I’m in my 40s:

1) Three years of high school with a female classmate who is not friends; University half a year, the female classmate to become a girlfriend; Three and a half years in Suzhou, tried all means to stick to the long-distance relationship down; When I returned to Luoyang that year, I turned my girlfriend into my wife.

2) When my girlfriend forced me to buy a house, I made up my mind to buy a house in Luoyang.

3) Returned to Luoyang at 24 to work in a small company (giving up higher salary, more social contacts, better prospects).

In IT circles, there is a three-year mantra: if you stay at a company for three years, you either get promoted or move on. I worked in a Japanese company in Suzhou for three and a half years before leaving. My reason for leaving is not that THERE is no room for advancement. I just received a sizable raise. The head of the department also talked to me, to entrust. Mainly because of the third choice above, my girlfriend returned to Luoyang six months ago to find a decent job. If I stay in Suzhou, the long-distance relationship will go wrong sooner or later.

Back to the magic spell, after returning to Luoyang, the magic spell was inexplicably broken in 3 years. For more than six years, I’ve been working for a boss until the company goes bankrupt.

It’s not that I’m loyal. I don’t have Confucius in my vocabulary. To tell you the truth, I’ve thought about changing jobs over and over again, and I’ve had a few private interviews and sincere offers, which I’m not going to keep secret. But none of them happened.

Let me explain why. Neither my wife nor I are an only child, which means that neither parent can devote his or her energies solely to us. So one of us had to make some career sacrifices to take care of our daughter.

My readers are of the younger generation, and I’m afraid they won’t be able to experience the feeling of coddling their daughters in the short term (and some of them are in the process of being coddled), nor will they be able to experience the hard work. Especially after the daughter went to kindergarten, every morning to send, afternoon to pick up; After that, I had to take various classes, such as English, Lego, physical fitness, painting and so on – I was the most dedicated driver.

All this takes time and money. My salary was equal to my wife’s at first, but as time went on, it fell far behind. After all, Luoyang is a third-tier city, programmers here do not have the salaries of first-tier cities — high salaries, you can imagine.

More time spent taking care of a daughter means less time at work; Besides, my sideline gradually took up a lot of time. For a while, my father was hospitalized and I had to take care of him in the hospital, so I couldn’t handle work for nearly a month. At that time, I felt very sorry. After all, the company was small, and only I knew the core business, and only I could write the core code.

But instead of skimping on my pay, my boss kept calming me down:

Let’s put this work thing on hold. It’s fine. Just take good care of your father. In addition, it is their attention to rest, do not also tired down.

I was touched at the time. One meter and seventy-three of me, tears straight in her eyes.

When my father turned the corner, he advised me to go back to work, but I went back with all my might. As a son, how many times in his life can he honor his parents? Besides, I don’t have to worry about work.

Through this, I kind of understand.

When I was in Suzhou, the company was not big, with more than 400 employees. But when asking for leave, we have to go through procedures, all kinds of tedious procedures, more than a week to seek approval from the general manager (Japanese, the honorary representative in the factory). I memorized 50 tones in Japanese, and I called in sick once, accompanied by a translator.

You can see the difference by contrast. The company I work for now is small but full of warmth, which is especially important at this special moment in my life.

If I were in some strict company, my situation would be pretty much out of business. Do not work for a month, wages are not deducted into a negative number are bodhisattva manifestation.

As time goes by, I feel more and more that my current company is the best choice for me. In the past three months, I went to the company two or three times to discuss with my boss some needs that were not clear on wechat. Sometimes WHEN I couldn’t get away, he’d drive down to our house and meet us in the car.

One of the great ironies of life is that you are young and strong, working your way up the corporate ladder, and sometimes doing anything to get promoted or paid more. But when you’re in your thirties and you’re ready to make your mark, your boss says, “You old baby, it’s time to give back.”

Or maybe you’re young and strong, working hard at a small company and sometimes neglecting your family in order to make it big. But when the company is in trouble, investors tell you, “You better get a job and retire.”

I am a lucky few! The company does not suffer, the sideline rises steadily, the family also does not delay. More importantly, there is no physical cost. The older I get, the better I feel.

I am 30 years old this year. I am living in a third-tier city and waiting for death. Sometimes I feel that I lack the passion for “fighting”. But five, 10 years later, who can say that my life is not worth it?

Instead, this is my ideal life:

  • Free working hours, free location, there is no such thing as overtime, only late and early leave.

  • You can go wherever you want without even asking your boss.

  • Perfect balance between family and life.

  • Although the salary is not high, but with the sideline, it is also able to mix a middle class in Luoyang.

  • Family members are all around us. Although we don’t get together every day, we can always eat the food made by our mother during Chinese New Year and Festivals. It is really delicious.

As for whether it is good or not, different age, different environment, different experience, of course, will have different feelings. Don’t envy me. You probably can’t afford the bleak future and miserable welfare in a third-tier city.

But as you can imagine, I’m doing well. I have a house, a car, a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter. Although the salary and first-tier cities can not compare, but sideline income let me live a life of flavor.