June 9, 2019, Sunday, sunny, 33 degrees
Today’s bugs are particularly hard to solve
The little sister in the opposite shop is still a dream I dare not crave
I’m a tadpole, a low-level front-end programmer
Six years of bricks and nothing
After all these years of hard work, I finally proved to those who had looked down on me that they were right
I worked overtime again tonight until 12 o ‘clock. I’m exhausted
The fight song started again in the nightclub downstairs
I was like a clown, shuttling through the streets
I have nothing to do with beautiful women and fancy cars
Because programmers are not allowed to be exposed to worldly fireworks
Before he finished his sentence, he became obsessed with a nightclub
For there stood a row of long black silk legs in front of the shop
I’ve been working overtime. I haven’t seen the opposite sex in, like, three months
Have to sigh, wearing black silk, they are really beautiful
Black silk is a holy grail for programmers, but also a mystery
Black silk on your head, you’re a robber
Black silk on your leg, you’re a god
The same pair of human legs, covered with black cloth,
Can create a fatal attraction for programmed dogs
When God designed man, he still left a bug
At that moment, the master’s voice rang out on the horizon:
“
Tadpole, beauty is a stumbling block in your career path
If you care about women, you can’t be the number one programmer
“
I recovered and turned my head away
I slapped myself in the face
I’m not a good programmer
A really good programmer should focus on nothing but code
You can’t go anywhere without a bikini
I really appreciate shifu
Every time I’m tempted by black Silk
Shifu’s teachings always help me out of difficulties and defeat my demons
My teacher is a senior front-end engineer
One step away from being the ultimate programmer
In a practice, to break through to the supreme level
One o ‘clock in the morning, entering a nightclub alone
He never came back
An hour before he disappeared
He left two characters in his wechat work group: “Black Silk”
From then on, Black became the devil in my heart, fascinated and frightened
As a result, there has been no breakthrough in the technology of coding
But that night, what happened to shifu in the club
I checked the time. 12:59 p.m
The club was right in front of me, and the devil in black silk was standing next to me
Right place, right time
If I don’t go to hell, who will
He picked up his big schoolbag and limped into the store
Usually used to the dark office, shady
I was almost blinded by the spotlights in the club
Men and women in the middle of the night, dancing in the middle of the floor
I’m wearing the company’s ten – week – old shit-yellow war suit
Jumping on the dance floor is like polio
Out of place
Roll halfway to the music
Suddenly I saw a sallow man crouching in the back row of the club
Tadpole: Master! Is that you?
Shifu: Little… Little tadpole? Why are you here
Tadpole: Master ~! I’ve been looking for you for years, and I finally found you. Come back with me
I can’t leave. My soul is poisoned.
Tadpole: Poisoned?
I will find a girl. She is my only cure
Tadpole: How can I find her
Shifu: Her code name is “black silk”, the legendary queen of nightclubs, she hides so deep that few can find her.
Tadpole: What kind of woman is she
Master: Black silk is an extremely dangerous woman, all the men she flirted with, will instantly sink, and then gradually thin, miss to death.
Three years ago, she kissed me, and then, and then… Black silk, black silk, black silk, black silk, black silk, black silk, black silk, black silk…
Before I finished, Shifu was like a drug addict
Frantically scratching his hair, repeating the word “black silk”
A group of men around the master, also controlled by the soul, kept saying the word “black silk”
I finally realized the seriousness of the problem.
She cried and told herself not to panic, but to find Black silk and rescue the master.
But where is Black in all this sea of people?
It seems that only the programmer’s magic skill — mind
Mind is a programmer’s advanced skill
When programmers are looking for bugs, hundreds of thousands of lines of code
If you look for it with your eyes, you’ll be blind
Once you use your mind, you can do a thousand things
Instantly find bugs in hundreds of thousands of lines of code
Mind eye is about feeling your surroundings with your heart, not your eyes
I close my eyes and breathe
The noisy surroundings gradually quieted down
Feel the subtle movement of everyone around you with your heart and eyes
Look for every woman in black silk
Finally, nine o ‘clock in the crowd
There’s a little girl sitting there
I was shocked. I thought Heather must be a coquettish bitch
I didn’t expect her to look like a pure student
All the other women in the club wear black silk
Dress as voluptuous and seductive as possible
She wore a simple white shirt and a pink miniskirt
In stark contrast to the chaotic surroundings
Give a person a kind of “out of silt and not dyed, zhuo Qinglian and not demon” both visual sense
Her fair skin was unadorned and unadorned
We programmers to code “the less is more” principle interpretation to the extreme
A real gao fu shuai, just like such pure and simple woman
Because gao Fu shuai is tired of fat powder and sexy bitch
Lu Xun once commented on the secret of love between men and women:
“
Like a girl: if she is not deep, take her to see the prosperity of the world; Take her on a merry-go-round if her heart is broken.
Like a boy: if he fell in love, you undress; If he sees too many people, be on the hearth by the stove.
“
Obviously, She only looks pure, but she’s not pure, she just takes advantage of purity
A real ace, she never looks like one
Purity is just a cover for her
We programmers are good at breaking through the confinement of thinking and look at problems with dialectical thought
Don’t be confused by the appearance of the problem, look through the phenomenon to see the essence.
This is an essential quality for a good programmer.
I felt in my heart the beauty of her face
Concealing a proud and cool ambition
Now that I’ve found Black, how am I going to flirt with her
You must first make yourself handsome
Little tadpoles in a shit-yellow corporate suit
Drew a “Supreme” with a ballpoint pen, forcing the lattice to explode instantly
Moisten your hair with saliva and lift up your deep hair
Show your forehead, take off your glasses, and mingle on the dance floor
After entering the disco dance floor, can’t sway how to do?
Shifu once said, “If you can’t swing in a nightclub, draw a sign in the sky with your face.”
The knowledge that studies assiduously at ordinary times finally came in handy today
How do you move your hands when your head is swinging?
Shifu had once said:
“
If you’re in a club and you don’t know what to do with your hand,
Imagine the ceiling is a giant keyboard and hold your hands above your head
With the speed of 30 years of being single,
A blind tap into the sky
Imagine you’re tapping a dragon with code
You’d be the best kid in the club
“
To make myself look like a club hotshot
The little tadpole knows all about it
Pretending to be a rap artist
The tadpole shook its head
He belted out “No-sex,” the battle song of programmers working overtime
The lyrics are as follows:
“
Come and read after me
The medicine cut the gram to make trouble
Yo yo hey V enough
I don’t need sex, the code sends me everyday
Sing along with me loudly
I don’t need sex, the code sends me everyday
Hair can be! Hair can be!
The me! The me!
Eve! Ry! Day!!!
“
Tadpole side rap side ridicule next to the young people, do not know what is the real music
The young people next to them could not understand what the tadpoles were singing, and they did not dare to ask
Anyway, everything I can’t understand must be something stronger than them
In less than half an hour, the tadpole is already the craziest kid in the club
All the women fell for it.
After an hour of swaying, the little tadpoles limp on the bar
Wipe off the sweat, straighten your back, and pretend you’re handsome
Small tadpole SAO operation, finally caused the attention of black silk
Black silk took the initiative to sit next to the tadpole
All of this is expected, like the flow of code, every line has a plan
A high-end cocktail called Flaming Lips had already been ordered for Blackie
The tadpole wrote a love poem in lipstick on the side of the cup
“
Fifty-two proof white wine
37 degrees of you
“
After tasting the wine, Hess asked, What does 37 degrees mean
Tadpole: is the temperature when you fall in love at first sight
Hehe, man, that’s a good move
Black is used to being surrounded by loser licking dogs
No man had ever dared to speak to her like that
Black’s interest was aroused
Heather: Who are you? Why haven’t I seen you before
Tadpole: my name is tadpole and I am a killer
When he says he’s a killer, he’s obviously lying
But this blatant lie is a flirting device
It adds to the mystery
It makes women want to get to know you naked
Heather: Oh? What was the killer doing here
Tadpole: look for my prey, then play with a girl’s heart
Hehe, man, did you find your prey
Tadpole: Yes, she just said “hehe, man” to me.
The words struck a chord in Black silk’s heart and she began to waver
She had never seen such a slutty man
The average loser lick dog is to say I love you, goddess I tm love you
But the tadpole is not the same, but with a subtle not artificial way to express it
Liao flavour is dye-in-the-wood
Heather: What do you really want
Tadpole: I want a romantic encounter, a carefully designed encounter
Heather: Is there anything I can do
Tadpole: Yes, I have a love and need to talk to you
Little tadpole no longer go round and round, straight to the point, straight to the theme
To satisfy black silk’s domineering possessiveness and vanity
Heather: Give me ten minutes. Give me one reason why I shouldn’t turn you down
Tadpole: Ok, I’ll go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back
You can see that Black silk has taken the bait
Can’t wait to see the tadpole’s cards
It’s time to go for broke and deliver the final blow
god bless me
The tadpole hurried to the toilet and took out the computer
Use my six years of EXPERIENCE as a front engineer of BAT factory to learn P diagram skills
Screenshot of alipay balance page
Photoshop the balance as long as your ID number
And set to the phone screen saver large picture.
After returning from the toilet, the tadpole placed the front of the phone directly on the table
Black silk to see the balance, the heart line instantly fell apart, routed
The tadpole uses this screenshot to take black silk directly
From start to finish, it took ten seconds. It was a piece of cake
The tadpole ruthlessly turned black silk into his crotch
Black silk kneels down to embrace the tadpole’s thigh, crying and begging the tadpole not to go, can not shake off
Black silk’s cry is shocking, sobbing
From then on, It was like The soul was being manipulated
“Little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole, little tadpole…
.
Tadpole is very smart, well versed in human nature, understand the power of money, outwitted the goddess, defeated the big boss
Tadpole after unremitting efforts, overcome difficulties, finally rescued the master
Little tadpole will programmer calm, innovation of good quality reflected incisively and vividly
Tadpole this war, became a programmer’s story, also became a nightclub legend
.
That night, the sea, clouds and sky are the same color, the little tadpole did not go home
Where did the tadpole go? Legend went to mom
.
.
(end)
Please indicate the source of reprint
Author: The tadpole in the first place
Github:github.com/airuikun/bl…
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