A few days ago, there was an incident that left me speechless.

A young programmer with two years of experience quit and told me that he would be starting a new company in a week.

A week?? According to the company’s requirement, one month in advance is required for resignation. To be honest, most transitions take less than a month, but a week is pretty short — five days without overtime.

Considering that the young man has not been in the company for a long time and the work he is currently responsible for is not very much, I still agree to leave the company after a week.

Not long after I agreed to leave, the young man left me a message on wechat, asking me to use up the remaining 3 days of annual leave before leaving.

I was in a meeting and didn’t see his wechat message. The young man looked at me for a long time and did not reply to him, so he probably felt embarrassed. Then he sent another wechat message, and if I did not agree, he would not take his annual leave.

When I saw wechat after the meeting, I felt speechless and even a little angry at first, WTF. I can understand leaving a week, now the job is not easy to find, find a favorite company position, promised to the new company quickly entry also calculate. There are only 5 working days in total, and 3 of those days you want to take annual leave. Isn’t it a bit much? Do you only think about yourself, not the team you have now?

No language to no language, ask for leave please, I did not refuse, his mind is not in, keep this is no good.

By way of explanation, my management team is not tough, and there is no such thing as giving him a hard time and making him not want to stay more than a day.

Compared with the resignation of a key operation and maintenance member of the team last year, first of all, he was mentioned to leave early enough. He was still very dedicated in his work and did not work overtime, so many colleagues could not see that he was going to leave.

What touched me most was that, due to the work handover was not smooth, he communicated with the new company (a large e-commerce factory) and postponed his entry time by 2 weeks. He still had a lot of overtime and annual leave left until the final handover.

Speaking of which, I still owe this operation and maintenance brother a practice meal. At that time, due to various reasons, I failed to eat it, and I have to find a chance to make it up later.

It is really through a thing to see a person, for egoists, leave to say goodbye, is no longer want to see.

Many programmers work for many years and change companies, but have few real friends among their colleagues. Why?

Part of the reason programmers don’t have friends is because they’re boring and not good at networking.

In addition, LET me share a few more ways to make programmers friendless.

Well, you read that right, the friendless way. For ease of reading, switch to the first person narrative.

Method 1: Delete comments and unit tests before leaving

My boss used to make me work overtime, pay me so little, and always give me all kinds of complaints… Don’t blame me, boss. I’m going to delete all the comments in the code before I leave.

I’m sorry to take over from you, but I’ll leave some notes for you. I’ll write down my jokes about the boss in the notes to remind you.

And unit tests, I’ll delete them before I go.

I think IT’s a good thing I didn’t bury a Bug before I left.

As long as I bury it deep and cleverly, there’s enough for the company to drink. Even if a Bug is found by the company, I can say it wasn’t intentional, I’m such a bad person that I don’t need to intentionally bury bugs.

Method 2: No comments, no documentation

The guy who deleted the comment above, at least wrote the comment, I just don’t write the comment.

Don’t ask why, ask that I write beautiful code, don’t need comments.

But I hate my colleagues who write bad code and don’t write comments. For example, I saw a piece of code the other day that was written in such a piece of shit that I couldn’t understand it without comments.

I scroll up to the top of the class to see the author… It turned out to be code I wrote a month ago. Should not say, I write of zha can not understand??

Oh, and documentation. I don’t write technical documents or user manuals. I’m a programmer, and I’m not naturally good at drawing or coding words.

Especially interface document, user manual, function changes, but also have to change the document, this is not to find things for yourself? Besides, I can write tests. Why am I supposed to write tests?

Also, when submitting SVN and Git, you also need to write a comment on the submission. Fortunately, I have a strategy. “New feature development,” “fix bugs,” and “improve the code” are pretty much everything.

Method 3: No self-test after coding

Once you’ve written the code, throw it to your testers.

What? The test says my code is buggy. Who writes code that isn’t buggy? I have tested myself, why do I need to test, test work is not saturated?

And no matter how many bugs, when dumped to the test, we must be confident, to pat the chest to say “no bugs”.

When the test complained that my code was buggy, I backhanded one sentence: “That’s because you are professional, the coverage is too complete, I can’t test you so complete”.

Tip 4: Ask questions often

The programmer next to me is getting more and more annoying. When I just joined the company, he is still a good person. He has been working for a long time and has more experience than me.

He is getting more and more cold now, and often talk to me and talk to me

• “I’ve told you this question several times before.”
• “This is a problem you can solve by searching the Internet.”
• “I’m busy. Hold on.”

What attitude! I don’t understand, I don’t just ask a little too much, ask more that I love learning, love communication ah.

He said I was overreaching and asked stupid questions, and I disliked his impatience and unhelpfulness with new people.

You’re not the only programmer in the company. I’ll ask someone else.

Method 5: Change the interface at will

As a programmer, it’s normal for me to change the interface. Besides, I didn’t want to change it. The product manager forced me to.

I change my interface and I have to inform you? Influence your call, you find the problem of the initiative to ask me, why do you have to secretly say to me:

“Change the interface at will, chrysanthemum ten thousand people stabbed”

You also don’t complain about the interface document and the code is not on, brother, are the same, the code can not write over, how to have the time to maintain the document so timely.

Method 6: Just make it work

The code that can achieve the function is enough, and don’t talk to me about program performance problems, until we make a product hit again.

Maybe our product will die when it goes live, and you’re telling me about the performance of the hammer.

Also don’t say I write the name is not standard, my English is not good, too lazy to check the translation. It is said that you can program in Chinese now, I am going to try.

And don’t say that my code is inelegant or messy, because it’s automatically obfuscated by nature.

(By way of interjection, I once worked on a Bug for a whole day until I found out that someone had written the number 1 instead of the L in XxxxxServlet, and I had 10,000 pieces of shit in my mind.)

Method 7: Shake the pan

I’m a front-end developer, and if you ask me what the best thing about separating the front and back ends is that you can dump the blame on the back end if something goes wrong.

Whatever it is, blame it on the back end first. How can the user be more important than me? I must first declare that it is not my responsibility.

If the backend development can prove that it’s not their problem, you can leave it to the testers to see how they tested it before it went live.

In short, do not panic when there is a problem, first calmly think about the severity of the problem is not serious, if serious, and then carefully think about how to push the problem to others.

“Dump your own mess and let someone else carry it.”

Method 8: Detest the product manager

Continue to talk about the product manager, he can not see us programmers idle, have nothing to do with all kinds of requirements.

I put up with the usual demands, but some of them were too much for me to handle. In this situation, I have to confront him, so I have a formula for this:

• “You have not seen this feature in other competitive products, people do not do it must be a reason.”
• “How do you justify the need for this feature?”
• “Plus features? We’re subtracting. We’re focusing.”
• “The feature is too complex and the barrier to entry is too high.”
• “You’re overdesigning.”
• …

Don’t think I don’t know there’s a book called Everyone is a Product Manager. It’s so good, it’s great because there’s no book called Everyone is a Programmer.

Whatever you do, make sure it doesn’t look like I don’t want to do it.

By the way again fun AB test, do not know the invention of the ghost concept, too hateful, virtually and LET me write a lot of code.

The last

Finally almost finished, you can see that I am deliberately written in reverse, saying irony has already let me split.

Write these, is the hope that you pay attention to the small things in front of you, don’t let the small things affect their future. Every period of work experience, no matter the size of the company, the length of time, we hope that we can make more friends, even after leaving the company, we will often contact and help each other.

As for lack of sense of time and inability to do things, I haven’t written about them, and they’re not unique to programmers.

As for deleting databases and running away, selling company data and code, I did not write either. It is no longer a small thing without friends, but a big thing without friends to bring you a meal.

Next to me the code farmer twenty MAO preview finished this article, said four elder brother you should add a:

Programmers who comment on their peers’ hairstyles and hair volumes have no friends

If you find this article helpful, I hope you can share it with your friends and colleagues.

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