A programmer had a daughter in the first year of his marriage. He thought about it for a while and named her Lingling (00). Later, his second daughter was named Ling Yi (01), his third daughter was named Yi Ling (10), and his fourth daughter was named Yi Yi (11). And then… He had a son, and he had trouble naming him. So he thought for a long time, and finally decided to call Yi Chu.
A computer engineer, a systems analyst, a programmer, they’re driving down a hill, and suddenly the brakes don’t work. They screamed and raced down the hill, faster and faster, but eventually, by sheer luck, they came to a stop, inches away from the precipice. They all climbed out of the car. Computer engineer: “I think I can fix it.” Systems Analyst: “No, I think we should ship it down the hill and get an expert to see what the problem is.” Programmer: “I think we should push it back to the top of the mountain and see if the problem can recur.”
What calls occupational disease? The occupational disease is that as an IT worker, if you leave work at 5 o ‘clock one day, you will feel very guilty; If you leave work at 5am two days in a row, you beat yourself up. If you leave work at 5pm three days in a row, you seriously wonder if the company is planning to fire you.
Programmer’s reading history: INTRODUCTION to X language — > application practice of X language — > advanced programming of X language — > science and art of X language — > beauty of programming — > The Way of programming — > Zen of programming — > Rehabilitation guide of cervical spondylosis.
The reporter asked an old man to say: old man, what is your secret of keeping young?
Grandpa said: day work, night overtime, holiday duty, five packs of cigarettes a day, eat instant noodles every day.
The reporter asks: old man, what are you doing work?
Big ye say: I am a programmer!
Interviewer: Huh?? How old are you this year?
Grandpa: I’m 35 this year!
Four things programmers hate the most: writing comments, writing documentation, people not writing comments, people not writing documentation…
If a football person “sudden death”, will be suspected and gambling related;
If an official “dies suddenly”, he is suspected of being involved in corruption.
If a farmer “dies suddenly”, he is suspected of having something to do with demolition.
And when a programmer dies, he dies.
Break up 100 days, still have not come out how to do?
What is a programmer’s chain of contempt?
Programmers with beautiful wives despise programmers with unattractive wives. Programmers with wives despise programmers without wives. A programmer with no wife and girlfriend who despises single programmers. It’s the language, the editor, and the operating system that have the contempt for each other among singles.
For all the messy computer problems, cell phone problems, people in other industries think that programmers know everything.
Among programmers, women think men know everything.
Among male programmers, the average programmer assumes that a skilled programmer can do everything.
Good programmers struggle to find answers on the Internet every time.
Cheng XX encountered a car accident into a vegetative state, the doctor said she survived the hope of only 1/10,000, wake up more slim. Her colleagues and relatives did not give up, and according to cheng xx’s obsession with testing, they read around her every day: “The module you tested rolled back after it went online.” Miracle happened, cheng XX wake up the first word: confirm that module is I measure?
Two programmers chat, programmer a complained: “do programmers too hard, I want to change lines…… What can I do?” Programmer b: “Hit enter.”
Product Manager: “You see, you can swipe right here to get a menu, and then you need a flashing animation, and I think the TAB can pull down, you know? Stylist: “don’t talk nonsense, the product that you want to copy shows me next.”
The programmer watches TV with the product manager. Each program to see half of the program ape will change the channel, see half of the channel, after several times the product manager finally unbearable roar: Lao Tze just see a point of meaning you change, just see a point of meaning you change, in the end also let people watch? ! Program ape calm stare at TV way: you half change demand of time I can not squeak!
A programmer was very interested in calligraphy and decided to build a career in it after retirement. So he spent a lot of money to buy the four treasures of the study. One day, after dinner suddenly born elegant, a time of grinding ink to imitate paper, and point on the good sandalwood, quite have Wang Xizhi style, and yan Zhenqing momentum, calm the mind for a moment, splashing ink, solemnly write a line of words: Hello world.
I heard a horrible curse in the office today
“You’re a fucking wild pointer with no object!”
The programmer had three children, named Ctrl, Alt and Delete, and if they didn’t behave, all he had to do was tap them at the same time.
Senior Engineer looked at me in Pair coding
The bugs that may exist after code deployment cannot be known in real time. In order to solve these bugs, I spent a lot of time on log debugging. Incidentally, I recommend a good BUG monitoring tool for youFundebug.
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Dry goods series of articles summarized as follows, feel good point Star, welcome to add groups to learn from each other.
Github.com/qq449245884…
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