I saw an interesting article on Devto yesterday, where a foreign developer posted 10 tips on how to be the worst developer in the world, which is more profound than other articles on how to be a good programmer. Let’s take a look at these 10 tips.
Top 10: You need to know 100% about JavaScript before you can do anything
This is great advice that can be applied everywhere. Unless you are the first expert in the field, you should not do anything, if not in your country, at least in the circle around you. How else can you be sure you won’t screw anything up? How else do you make sure you won’t be laughed at?
If you start too early, you may make a mistake, and remember: as a developer, your job is to never make a mistake.
Top 9: Never question thought Leaders; They are always right and smarter than you
Thought leaders should be respected as Gods. Whatever they say is what they say. Even if they only started coding a few weeks ago and you’ve been coding for years! If they have a large following on social media and are more knowledgeable than you, you should listen carefully to what they have to say.
Remember: 1 follower = = = 1 billion brain cells. Do you have trillions of brain cells?
If you don’t understand something, it must be the fault of the creator of the language and a fundamental flaw in the language. You should write your own language to solve this problem
The reason we have so many bugs is because we don’t have enough programming languages. Brendan Eich created JavaScript in 10 days. Of course, if you take 30 days or so, you can come up with a better idea.
Top 7: If someone offers another solution to your problem, just say “But… …” “, then say any of the following words, and walk away: “Security”, “scalability”, “orthogonality”, “maintainability”
No one really understands your code and why you wrote it yourself. Don’t expect anyone to give any helpful feedback, 110% of the time they don’t know what they’re talking about. If they’re so smart, they should be writing code instead of you.
Top 6: Don’t learn HTML, it’s out of date
Just because every modern Web framework still uses HTML doesn’t mean you should too. Instead, focus on building a new markup language and ecosystem (browsers, mobile devices, apis, and so on) around it.
Also be sure to jump into any conversations that discuss HTML to remind everyone that HTML is not really a “real” programming language. The same is true for CSS. Include links to these conversations on your resume so your hiring manager knows you’re a “real programmer.”
Top 5: You don’t need to care how you communicate with people — it’s not the humans that matter, it’s the computers that matter
One of the biggest mistakes I see developers make is wasting time communicating instead of writing code. You’re hired as a developer, not a talker. The more lines of code you write, the higher your salary.
Ignore emails, Slack messages and GitHub questions. Instead, you can work in a silo and build as many cool features as possible. When someone forces you to attend a meeting, cancel at the last minute with an extremely vague excuse.
Top 4: Make it as complicated as possible. This is the key to keeping the job
This is especially important: find a place where you feel comfortable. Do your best to keep it under complete control and do not neglect it. Use functions, variables, and file names as creatively as possible. Use your conventions, such as: spelling words backwards, using the names of your favorite TV show characters, or family names as prefixes for random variables. You can also consider running your code through jsFuck.
If you’re the only one who can fix or update the code base, this is the ultimate form of job security.
Top 3: Copy and paste everything, don’t worry about not understanding
Our goal is to release the code! The Internet now has so many resources, like Stack Overflow and Google, that almost all the answers are right in front of you. The problem here is that many developers waste time trying to understand something useful. If you succeed, move on and don’t spend any time thinking about it.
Spending a lot of time trying to understand what you’re doing will prevent you from achieving your ultimate goal: writing as much code as possible.
Top 2: Your opinion is the only one you need to listen to
This goes back to the Top 5 advice: the more people participate, the more bullshit you’ll hear from others. If you’re forced to listen to your manager or other team members, join them on the phone, but while they’re talking, try imagining the Beastie Boys galaxy video playing in your head to make sure nothing they say gets in your head.
Top 1: You must rewrite every instance of let in your colleague’s code as much as possible. They may hate you now, but they’ll thank you later. It is critical to the stability of the application and should take precedence over the release of new features!
This one is the most important and self-evident!
Do you have mixed feelings as I do reading this? Don’t forget the title of this article, these are all tips to make you a bad programmer, so each one of these tips requires the opposite, which is that these habits will keep you away from being a good developer. In reality, there’s a lot more to bad coding habits. What’s one thing you hate the most? Let us know in the comments!
10 Tips for being the worst Developer
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